Friday, September 10, 2010

Frustrated!

I am so frustrated and at a point where I am just ready to give up. Chris and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past two years. He keeps telling me "Everything will happen on the Lord's time". I know that, but these past two years have been so hard. I could understand a couple of months, but two years? I am doing what I am suppose to....praying, reading my scriptures, fulfilling my church callings, going to church every Sunday, etc. so why am I not having any luck? I started clomid last month and thought "here's my chance" and then NOTHING. I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired of crying and being depressed but I can't help it. There are days were I just want to curl up on the couch and cry until I don't have any tears left in me. I know people are trying to be nice and comforting but I am so tired of hearing it will happen when it is suppose to. Usually this stuff comes from people who are fertile Myrtles. I am TIRED of hearing it. Chris is great and just lets me cry and he has given me a blessing and he is very considerate of my feelings but it is hard because he doesn't see it how I do. He isn't the one who is all emotional and can't think about anything else. He can continue on his day like any other day as I am sitting having ANOTHER melt down. I am tired of the waiting and the emotions. Why can't I just have a baby? What is wrong with me? Should I just give up? I don't know what to do but I also don't know how much more of this disappointment I can take. I just want a BABY!!!!!

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