There are days when I feel down and lost. There are days that I question the trials that we are given in this life. Then there are days that I feel hope and feel so blessed for the trials that the Lord has given to me. In particular, our family. That is what has been on my mind a lot lately. I have found that the more I focus on how blessed I am and focus on the important things in my life the more blessed I feel. Instead of focusing on the things that we don't have or how we think our lives should be at this particular moment, it is comforting to know that the Lord has a plan for us and he is aware of how we feel and what we need. The adoption process is not an easy one. Infertility is not easy. When your family and friends are growing their little families it is easy to question "why not me". I have been thinking lately that although yes I do wish it was me, I also feel so blessed that the Lord feels confident in me and my family to be able to overcome and work through this together as a family with his help. I feel like he loves me so much to entrust in me the opportunity to raise a baby that needs our family. The way we get our family is not important. It is what we do with the family that we are given that is most important.
Today I dropped off some paperwork at our agency and while waiting for the secretary to get in I was reading the bulletin board they have posted. It made me super excited for this amazing journey that we are on. Seeing other families who have been placed with sweet little children through the miracle of adoption was so encouraging. Seeing the pictures of those who are like my family, waiting for that miracle was heart warming. I went to the office just like any other day, just plugging along and left with this overwhelming feeling of love. I walked out of the office feeling like someone had their arms around me telling me, your time will come. WOW, how blessed I am to have a Savior who love me! That's right HE LOVES ME!!!!!!!!! I know that he is aware of me and hears my prayers and knows the desires of my heart. I left that building with a heart full of hope. I know that their is a little baby waiting to join our family. I know that when the time is right we will be able to bring that sweet little baby into our home and into our hearts. It's crazy how much love you can have for a child that you don't know and have never met, but I already have so much love in my heart for our little baby who will join our family one day.
I am grateful for this experience that we get to go through as a family. I am grateful for my wonderful mother who is always there to listen when I need her the most. I am grateful for my husband who holds me when I cry and laughs with me when I need it most. I am grateful for a little boy who is super excited about being a big brother who is also super excited about the adoption process. I am grateful for a mother in law who is maybe more excited about this than we are. LOL I also have amazing sister in laws who are happy for us and who are always there with a listening ear and comforting words. I am most grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has helped heal my broken heart and given me hope for the future. I could not have come to this point in my life without him. I am also grateful to the birth mother who will choose our family for her baby and pray that she is lead to us. Her sacrifice is one that is not easy and we pray that she will find peace and comfort when finding a family for her baby!
Monday, January 2, 2012
I am so excited for 2012. So many great things are going on for our family. We are heading into our final semester at BYU, Chris will graduate from BYU in April and also commission as an Army Officer in April. I start my bachelors program in February, Noah turns 11 years old in April, we find out where and when we are going to be stationed in February, Noah finishes up 5th grade in May, I become an Aunt again in July and hopefully we will add to our family through adoption this year. So many amazing things. I also have a few personal goals that I am going to work on this year. I am so excited for this upcoming year and all the many miracles and adventures that are going to happen to our family!
Christmas this year was a lot of fun. Instead of doing dinner on Christmas day we decided to have Christmas Eve dinner with Josh and Jadey at their place and just relax on Christmas day. That was such a great idea. Christmas day was nice. We got up early and I put the breakfast casserole in the oven and then we started to open our gifts. Noah made a haul for sure. I spoiled Chris of course and I too was spoiled. Then Chris and I went back to bed because Noah got us up at like 5:45am. Then we went to church.
Church was great. We have an orchestra in our ward and so all the music was accompanied by them and the piano and organ. It was amazing and so spiritually uplifting. Then we came home and Noah played with a ton of his toys and I spent the day on the couch relaxing and just enjoying being with my family. Then we had steak and baked potatoes for dinner. Super easy to make and clean up. What a great season it has been.Noah was spoiled by all of his Aunts, Uncles, and grandparents. What a lucky little boy. He got too many things to list them all but you know that little boy got tons of legos. And what better gift to get than money right?! Uncle Josh and Aunt Jadey gave Noah $20 and he was super excited!
I Hope that all of our friends and family had a great holiday season this year!